Allure: The celebrity rumor mill, especially on social media, has also been laser-focused on plastic surgery lately—trying to pinpoint if and what kinds of procedures people are getting. I’ve seen your name come up in that context. What do you make of that?
Dove: If we’re talking purely about [commentary on my] looks, I could give a fuck. I do not participate in conjecture, and I do not accept conjecture on my behalf. It used to bother me when I was younger, feeling like anybody could say anything [about me] at any time. In general, it’s not my business what people think and say [about me]. The person they are saying things about is not actually me because it’s an idea of who I am. How they’re perceiving me could never be accurate. It’s however they’ve made me out to be in their head from the small bits of information. I think there’s a bunch of people that think I’m mean simply because I wear sunglasses all the time and my mouth goes down. It’s just a place to put anger and upset. I understand feeling out of control in the current world and wanting something to put upset into. I have no malice toward people who participate in that, it’s just what it is.
“If it’s my wedding day and we’re both in suits, I’m going to look back and be like, Well, fuck. But if I go ultra-femme, I’m going to be like, Well, fuck.”
Allure: On another note, I saw the first few episodes of 56 Days and was mad I was left on so many cliffhangers. It is genuinely captivating.
Dove: We shot the thing so long ago, so when I finally got to see it all cut together, I had the same feeling. I was like, “Fuck, I’m on the edge of my seat. They did this so well.” I was chomping at the bit to get more.
Allure: The show revolves around sex in a big way. There are a lot of sex scenes, many of them intense. You mentioned in a recent interview that you were surprised by how intimidated you were by the nudity required.
Dove: I wanted to be an actor since I was tiny, tiny, tiny, and I’d grown up watching actresses do nudity scenes, things that felt very normal to me as a viewer. I was like, “One day when I’m a big actress, that might be something that I brave and do.” I was always open to it. When this project came around, I was at a time in my life where I wanted to challenge myself. I read the script, realized there was nudity required, and I blindly was like, “Fuck yeah. I’m not scared. I’m ready to go. I’m an adult.” I just didn’t anticipate that it would be so vulnerable. That sounds really silly in retrospect. How could I have not thought that it would be so vulnerable? It’s not strictly about what your body looks like on camera. I’ve always been pretty okay with my body. I’ve never been massively confident in it. I’m not trying to go to the beach every day, you know? I have a little bit of stuff that I’m working on loving. I think every woman—conceivably, most humans—have insecurities.
Allure: Everybody’s got ’em.
Dove: I remember watching an interview once where Angelina Jolie was like, “I am massively insecure.” And I remember thinking, I’m off the hook, because if you feel that way, everything’s allowed. Everybody feels that way, it’s just a human thing. So I anticipated some of the self-consciousness about [my body]. It was never the environment; it was simply the act of being witnessed by someone who is not your significant other in such a vulnerable way. It made my mind do flips and tricks, and it was a learning process.
Allure: What was it like, pushing through those conflicting feelings?
Dove: I didn’t realize how much internalized shame I had until I did this. I thought I was really progressive in this way. I’ve always thought that nudity was beautiful and artistic and something to be celebrated. And I feel that way about other people, and so I thought I felt that way about myself. But on the other side of the body anxiety…you have this ownership of your body. It’s like I’ve broken this seal of internalized shame. The modern Western culture around nudity really teaches you shame about something that is so human and natural and innocent. Nudity is innocent. You go to Europe, and on so many of the beaches, the women are topless and no one looks. The female body, in particular, has been commoditized to be this emblem of sexuality. Avan [Jogia]’s shirtless—we’re not writing home about that, right? It’s literally just my tits that are so, like, “Oh my God!” alarms blaring.
Allure: Did filming those scenes change how you see yourself at all?
Dove: I feel less crumpled and hidden. I feel more like I celebrate myself in the way that I celebrate other women. Like I’ve just burst through something. My number one—I guess you would call it a motto, even though that word makes me want to vomit—is if something scares me, that’s the thing I have to do next. If you were a piece of marble and every hard experience was chipping away the excess, you’d take more shape after you do something that scares you. I’m sure there’s someone who’s going to read this and think, Oh, you took your top off on TV and now you’re so evolved. Actually, yes. It was something that was personal for me to be able to tackle and understand.
Allure: In the metaphor of the sculpture, what shape are you taking now?
Dove: There’s no way that I can say this without it sounding like double-extra, mega-heavy cheesy: I’ve never had what I could perceive as an end goal for my evolution because I think we’re evolving forever. It’ll never be complete.
Source: Allure Magazine | Nicola Dall’Asen